"only the hot guys (or guys with status, (and it can be "bad-boy" status) matter for their self-esteem..."

this is true for me; however, I know this about myself and I don't start relationships with people with the intent to "fool" them into thinking I love them. If someone flirts with me, I'll flirt back but tell them I just like the attention. Only ONE person has managed to somewhat tame these thoughts of mine and I only want him. I still want attention from other guys, but he knows and understands that whenI dress provocatively It is only for the attention. I  will never give in to temptation. I've wanted to, just to know I can get attention from certain guys, but I knew I would just throw them away (going back to being "just friends - as I feel too guilty just throwing them out of my life. I am friends with all my exes) But with my current partner, it's different. When I feel that way, I remind myself I can just be friends and flirt with these guys, but also be honest with them.

"With their good looks and friendly PUBLIC personna they are "hit on" by guys everywhere they go. But only the hot guys (or guys with status, (and it can be "bad-boy" status) matter for their self-esteem....They don't really care if a "loser" or an average guy likes them, they expect that...But when a "special guy" is hitting on them, well his absolute approval is vital to maintainimg their self image of also being one of the hot-people. Their real message to him is this..."See, I'm a hottie like you, please tell me you know it too!, please show me I'm hot, and I'm wonderful!, .........(Occasionaly they have to prove to themselves and their friends that they are hot and they're really just "slumming" with us)."



"The 'reason" they will ignore and devalue a real love (that they already have) for a pointless fling with a virtual stranger (providing he is "hot"), is this.... They have a very serious, and overwhelming obsession for "new love and validation"........and when they meet a guy who strikes their fancy...BAM!.... they must have him...You know
how some people must have a new car ?, or they must be the smartest and win every debate ?,,,,,,,,,,well the HPD must
be the hottest, and get all the great guys..........she must............and she feels entitled to do it too!


The thrill of a "new hot conquest" is exciting, is a compulsion, and is much more important to them than the existing relationship they already have.... They simply cannot resist aquiring a new admirer when a "worthy" prospect comes around. They must prove they can get him, or they will just die! And their poor little hubby or boyfriend can just be ignored, lonely, and miserable for all they care.......... Hey it's important.there's a new hot guy to impress!...and seduce! They've got to get his approval, he's got to like them, he's just got to.......oh Aunty Em he's just got to like me or I'll just die.....

If you catch them talking privately among their friends, they're typically laughing about their poor little hubby who is such a "stupid fool" without a clue, and excitedly boasting about some new guy who is crazy about them...and how their hubby would 'just die if he knew about all their little secrets"....insert big laugh here.. Heck they know they have the existing partner, but he does not excite them anymore, he's just their flunky/servant if the true be told. He is essentially not much more than a doormat....and they figure they are so awesome that he'll forgive them anyway if he finds out about their little sex-flings, because he would never want to lose someone as hot as them.... (That's why their "partner" is usually a carefully selected co-dependant doormat type who "worships" them) ......yes indeed, so they can abuse, control, and walk all over him.


How do these flings get started?

With their good looks and friendly PUBLIC personna they are "hit on" by guys everywhere they go. But only the hot guys (or guys with status, (and it can be "bad-boy" status) matter for their self-esteem....They don't really care if a "loser" or an average guy likes them, they expect that...But when a "special guy" is hitting on them, well his absolute approval is vital to maintainimg their self image of also being one of the hot-people. Their real message to him is this..."See, I'm a hottie like you, please tell me you know it too!, please show me I'm hot, and I'm wonderful!, .........(Occasionaly they have to prove to themselves and their friends that they are hot and they're really just "slumming" with us).

Once she becomes infatuated with a new guy she will show him the side of her that the doormat never sees anymore. She will laugh, and smile and mesmerize and seduce the new hot guy. She will tell him that her 'hubby" is like a friend really, and that she can do whatever she wants to......she has a lot of friends and lovers and it's OK AS LONG AS SHE DOESN'T HURT THE HUBBY BY LETTING HIM FIND OUT. She will tell the new guy that he can be her little secret....She will try to add him to the fan club of guys that love her madly. (The fan club you'll not know much about).... Then he'll become another someone that she can run to, have little special times with (quickies mostly), or phone calls, E-mail, or text, when they're down, or you're being "mean" or they're bored. Or she may even "trade up" for him, and dump her existing "partner". It's her choice, she is after all a special person......with all the glory and extra priveleges that entails........


What about their existing "partner"?

If we stay with them long enough they become bored with us (after the initial infatuation wears off), and their passion for us soon dies. Lacking empathy,respect, love, or even basic consideration for us, they feel nothing for us after the newness of the relationship has worn off.....i]BUT... they'll keep us if we can serve a purpose....such as money or status in the public eye. They can"t go on to the stage of mature love with us, (or anyone else), so they just cool off after the initial infatuation is gone....And we"re left wondering where all that hot love went........(and we try so hard to get it back)........(futile) Meanwhile they're most likely, already getting their thrills from some new guy they're testing and playing around with......... (while we're ignored and bewildered ......dying for them to "love us" like they used to)!


My own rejection by an HPD......

My HPD quit loving me 4 months before our wedding! I knew she was miserable but I thought she was just sick of living with her parents and we would be totally happy after we got married......BOY WAS I EVER WRONG !!!! ....

She kept it to herself and married me anyway just for support!...no love!.......... none! ........Then she chased and seduced a new guy one week after our "honeymoon". ( and another guy 6 weeks later). Her friend set her up with the first guy to remind her that she could do better than me, and to destroy our brand new "marriage", as she had emphatically wanted her to stay single. (And it worked........my brand new "wife" went gaga for this guy......right in front of my face!)... Immediately upon returning from our cold, cold "honeymoon" her friend took her to meet this hot guy (that she had been trying to set her up with for several weeks), and the three of them flirted for days, around her friends swimming pool. My "wife" even told me about the fun they were having, and the flirting, and teasing him about sex! (I had no idea my "wife" would truly fall for this "playboy".) But her ego was on the line...( they were all 10's....models.....I was just an 8 or 8.5). So ....she had to prove that she could get this "hot guy",...and show them that I was just her flunky.....and not really "worthy of her"....to protect her pride....nice huh?

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