Dealing with abrasive personalities @ Unique Training & Development

"It isn’t unusual for an abrasive person to try and turn the tables on you – claim that you are being overly sensitive and that the problem is you, not them. Don’t overly concern yourself with their initial reaction to the feedback as it is simply defensiveness. Most people get defensive when they receive corrective feedback. Instead of reacting to their defensiveness, simply repeat your perspective. Even if the initial reaction is defensive you will likely see a change in behavior – at least towards you. If it doesn’t change then you will likely need to consult with human resources or choose to live with the behavior. As with any positive behavior change, you should privately acknowledge the person’s changed behavior and approach....
Instead of vilifying these aggressive managers, perhaps the organization needs to look in the mirror to see if the overall culture is too passive. By working together, the organization can benefit from being more results-focused and the aggressive manager can shift to being more people sensitive."

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